


never let me go.

by tsukishirou



Category: Bleach
Genre: Childhood Friends, Drabble Collection, F/M, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:34:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28372485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukishirou/pseuds/tsukishirou
Summary: a series of renruki drabbles, ranging from the days they spent in inuzuri to the bliss of being parents.
Relationships: Abarai Renji/Kuchiki Rukia
Comments: 22
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> well, this was tough to write, it made me really sad. anyways, i hope you enjoyed it.

As far as Renji’s concerned, birthdays weren’t _supposed_ to be like this.

But then again, nor is a child supposed to be beaten to death over a jug of water.

Where was the nice dinner, the bouts of laughter around the bonfire, the uncountable amount of kisses Rukia’d pepper all over his face? He couldn’t think about that now, not after everything that’s gone down last night.

It partly felt like their fault - his and Rukia’s, and their growing need to be alone. Hunting dinner should have been a quick affair, not result in her glistening and wet in his arms, pressed against a tree trunk and breathlessly chanting his name. It’s not something Mameji could have easily interrupted, not when Renji knew he’s been feeling guilty since they’re usually the ones to provide for the makeshift family.

But now Mameji’s gone.

It’s the third time they’re doing this, and the first time it’s just them, alone.

Rukia has always been good at keeping the tears at bay, she’d usually grit her teeth and keep digging, her grip on the shovel tight enough to turn her fingers white. It was just her and Renji now though, and the walls always crumble when they’re alone.

“I think...” he trails off after a tired exhale, eyes hesitantly darting towards Rukia’s glistening ones “I think that’s enough.”

She keeps gripping the shovel with shaky hands as he leans against his, a lone tear soon hitting fresh soil. The sun is jarring and the air so humid it feels suffocating. Renji wipes the beads of sweat threatening to drop down his brow and carefully scans the hole they’ve dug. Surely it’s not more shallow than the ones before, it should do the job. But most importantly he doesn’t think he could last one more second of listening to her cry without kissing the tears away.

Rukia doesn’t trust her voice, the tears are already bad enough, so she merely spares him a nod and climbs out of the grave. Mameji’s body is just a foot away, wrapped in a dirty old curtain they’d snatched from an abandoned shack. She tries not to look at it, but her body fails her twice and a sob escapes. That’s when a pair of strong arms envelop her, and she finally gives in, turning around to bury her face in Renji’s chest and cry to her heart’s content.

“You hungry?” he softly whispers after placing a kiss on the top of her head. His voice is quivering, despite the desperate attempts at masking it. Not being hungry was a rare occurrence, but today she feels nauseous just from the mere thought of food. She shakes her head and Renji sighs. “Me neither.”

“It’s your birthday.” she states after wrapping her arms around his waist, her body still frantically shaking. Rukia chokes down a sob and tilts her head up, her glistening violet eyes meeting his. “It shouldn’t be like this.”

Renji doesn’t reply, just pulls her closer, until her face is once again buried against his chest and he no longer has to stare at those heartbroken eyes. Unlike the years before, she didn’t wish him a _‘happy birthday’_. And rightfully so, it’s anything but happy.

That’s not how birthdays are supposed be


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this one’s extremely short but i really wanted to delve into rukia’s insecurities during their academy days before i proceed further.

_“I’d follow you anywhere.”_

That’s what Renji had told her the day she suggested they become Soul reapers. Rukia wholeheartedly believed him then, she likes to think she still does, but-

The academy was indeed the best choice they had - a warm bed, three meals a day, and a good outlook for the future. Anything a kid that’s come from the same hell they have could dream of.

Then _why_? Why was she so _unhappy_?

A familiar loud voice snaps her out of her thoughts. She looks up and her breath hitches. There he was, further down the hall, surrounded by the usual crowd - a handful of the academy’s best students, all as talented as him. And far more talented than her. Far more-

Rukia’s gaze shifts to the girl closest to Renji.

Hinamori Momo was the whole package - beautiful, talented and kind. Everything Rukia wanted to be but knew she wasn’t. Surely that’s the kind of girl Renji would prefer now that he actually has a choice. Rukia can’t quite see his face, but she could bet he’s just as flushed as his other male classmates. He laughs at something Himamori had said, a laughter so beautiful and comforting it soothes Rukia’s worries for a moment. But then she remembers she’s not the one who sparked this wonderful sound, and her stomach twists uncomfortably.

No, she couldn’t allow herself to be selfish, she couldn’t take this away from him, no matter how much she wanted him to hold her each night, to need her as much as she needed him. The possibility still lingers though, and she can’t help but wonder if he’d once again choose her desires over his. If she were to make this selfish plea, would he...

Would he still say he’d follow her anywhere?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bit of heart-wrenching fluff.... the calm before the storm... i legit cried when i wrote this so i hope it affects you as well, at least a little.

Time never mattered in Inuzuri.

Monday, Saturday, Christmas - it wouldn’t make a difference, nor did Rukia have a way of knowing. And sure, having something to look forward to was nice and all, but Rukia has never been a patient person. And waiting for Friday night to roll around and for Renji’s roommate to run off to his parents for the weekend wasn’t exactly fun. Thank god Izuru’s a family man(though Rukia had some suspicions that he’s doing this to give them some alone time). No matter, she’d take all she can get.

“Do you sometimes miss it?” she finally dares to ask one Saturday night while lying on Renji’s bare chest. “Inuzuri?”

She can feel his muscles stiffen underneath her, and there’s a long pause until he lets out a deep sigh.

“Miss living in constant fear that I might lose you forever?” he scoffs, and Rukia feels her cheeks flush. She shouldn’t have asked that after all. “No, I don’t.”

The bottle of saké Izuru has gifted Renji for his birthday gives her the courage to push further though. “What if I can’t do this? What if I never catch up?”

Much to her surprise, Renji laughs. “You? I’d probably be calling you ‘Captain’ by the time I make a 3rd seat.” He’s only trying to make her feel better, she knows that, so she keeps her silence, small fists clenching against his chest.

“Look,” Renji rolls over with another sigh, until they’re face to face, noses only an inch apart “I’m not going to pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to.”

It’s far from what Rukia expected, so her eyes widen in surprise until he leans in, planting a soft chaste kiss on her lips, so much different than the heated ones they had shared minutes ago.

“I only have four more exams to pass until I get placed in a squad.” he continues. “Just hold on a bit longer, okay?”

“I won’t be allowed in The Court of Pure Souls unless I join the Gotei.”

“Not unless you become my wife.”

Rukia’s breath hitches, pulse increasing in what’s surely an alarming time span, and something hot and wet streams down her cheek.

“What am I to do then? Be a housewife?”

“No.” Renji snorts and wipes the tear away. “You’ll be an artist. Sell thousands of copies and be the breadwinner of the family.”

She can’t help it, the laughter spills out her lips instantly, and her face is showered in quick gentle kisses seconds after.

“We’ll get a pet rabbit.” Renji whispers in her ear, and another set of tears escapes. Nonetheless, she doesn’t hide them, her gaze shifts up instead, locking with his.

“Promise?” Rukia doubts her voice has ever sounded so small, so weak, but it doesn’t matter now. All that matters is the warmth in his deep brown eyes, the sincerity, the-

“Promise.”


End file.
